As a single woman over 40, what are the fears that keep playing in your head? Many of my clients have these fears: I’m afraid that I’ll die alone, that there aren’t enough men, that men my age want women 20 years younger, I’m too old to find love, I’m “damaged goods.” It’s really easy to get caught up in these fears especially after disappointments in dating. But you know if you let these fears rule your life that you will suffer and be less likely to attract healthy love. So, how do you get from fear to faith?
I believe that it is about bringing in the Divine and about choosing to trust that all is unfolding as it should. I have been thinking about Divine timing recently and was reminded yesterday morning of what happens when I try to force/hurry things. Have you ever tried to pour tea from a teapot quickly? I wanted to get it done so I could move onto the next thing… and wound up having to clean up the current of tea that ran down the spout onto the counter! It reminded me that we have to work with what is, rather than force things because we are impatient!
One way to invite faith, not fear, into the dating process is to value the journey as well as the destination. What have you learned about yourself through dating? How have you grown? How are you setting healthier boundaries? In Calling in “the One” we talk about savoring the waiting, rather than being so focused on finding our beloved that we are anxious and unhappy because we’re still single. And Eckhart Tolle would question the concept of “waiting” which implies that something in the future is “better” than the present moment .
For me, it’s all about trust and believing that my needs will be met. Then I can let go of the fear and the “what ifs” even when my blessings aren’t exactly what I was asking for!
I’d love to know how you make the transition from fear to faith in your own life. Please leave your comments!